I can never decide whether or not this life is absolutely detestable or wonderful.
There's such good I see in the world and the moment it's been given time to crystalize, it's glamour is shattered.
The Lord has given us such a desire for what is good and we are cursed with such a desire to put that good to an end.
The love of an object unworthy of worship soon loses it's luster or if it doesn't we've made real lame excuses for why worshipping that thing doesn't give us satisfaction.
Christ should be the object of our affections, our worship, our love, our time, our interest, and devotion.
Why? Cause scripture tells us to?
Is Christ worthy of my worship? Can His life and words spoken so long ago hold my interest?
Does Jesus actually grant us a personal relationship with Him before death and before the judgement day?
All of the claims of Scripture I find to be true; but I am weary of a 2nd rate relationship with God.
He is my creator and the way He interacts with me is His choosing and so be it. He knows far better than I ever will.
Is God Himself restricted? No certainly not.
To me God has restricted His manifestations to Scripture for quite some time.
I've had answered prayers before, for small things and for vague large changes in my life.
God has truly changed me in ways I would have never seen coming.
I think to myself, "are my prayers self-manifestations?"
I shrink at the idea for fear that the Lord would loose His binding of my evil heart to show how easily on my own accord I would slip once again into grievous sin towards Him and my wife.
I've seen the evil in my heart and I fear for anyone whom God has given over to himself and those he loves.
I simply desire to see God move in my life. Though I know that usually comes through adversity.
I also desire to live a life of ease, but I believe God has other plans for me than I would have (thankfully).
Funny, I started this post in despair that I never see God in my life.
And as I write He kindly brings to mind all His full filling of prayers, and meeting me in a personal way during times of Scripture study and during worship at church.
neat....
stephen k.
(sporadic post i know)
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